18+2

 Yes, I know it's all gone wrong

Now I'm left with the broken songs;

Instead of fighting all day long,

Should have tried to make the sweet times more prolong!

We are all tired of masking smiles

My dreams look hazy hiding away 

Just like a three million more miles

I still look away, sighing and lying it's 'kay!

No longer an immature teen

Expectations in my mind are too keen

Wish there was no body to lean

The fake moments are never really seen.

Eighteen and two long years more,

All I think 'bout in my dreams and nightmares

Makes my head a bit too sore

All of these resembling a miserable bunch of uncertain dares.

Counting up the ticks on the to-do list I made

Wish I could be skilled enough to get paid

Even the hopeful words now seem like a shooting spade!

And every time I feel like it's way too much said;

Then I'm gushed out of the building of this old city

Now I miss that awful evaluation or maybe 

Just a random pat on the back rather than pity

Is it scary that the frames beyond I can now see?

Sometimes it's a fake smolder

A bag of uncertainty slinging down my shoulder,

Loads of past forced inside the folder

How the time changes as I grow older;

Twenty and suddenly it feels a bit too scary,

Two more failures and it feels time's wasted

Sometimes it's just too much to carry

'Till the time I get the feelings dusted!